Bullies don’t hurt others only through name calling, eye rolling, and gossip. They also abuse by teaching their targets that the next time they excel, they’ll pay a price, causing a downward spiral of shame and isolation in their targets.
Author and motivator Ty Weeks hopes to teach other targets how to unlearn bullies’ messages through her upcoming book, The Bully Blocker. “Bullying experiences taught me that praise, promotion, and excellence only brought negative results from others,” said Weeks on what motivated her to write her book. “I had to release associating doing well with punishment. After jumping comfort zone hurdles, I left behind stifling fear of success.”
In her book, Weeks provides a spiritual process to overcoming the negative hurdles and belief systems we can learn as bullying targets. Weeks believes the value of a person is not based on what a bully dictates.
When she refers to bullying, Weeks isn’t talking about just a bad day. She means ongoing abuse. Workplace bullying alone affects roughly 27 percent of workers according to the Workplace Bullying Institute. “There’s a difference between workplace bullies and a tough co-worker or boss,” adds Weeks. “Working with tough people is a way of life. Thick skin is required. The way tough bosses and co-workers behave is not ill-intended or malicious. Most of the time, they have your best interests at heart and are tough because they see the best in you and strive to bring that out. But bullying is malicious, health-harming behavior.”
Unraveling her own bullying wasn’t Weeks’ only motivation for writing the book. Weeks also doesn’t want other targets and witnesses of bullying to feel alone while deciphering and letting go of their bullies’ messages. “I felt alone going through my experiences. I don’t want anyone else to feel alone going through theirs. I want to encourage others to learn how to erase hate messages as part of overcoming the shame and fear.”
Ultimately, after experiencing workplace, cyber, and even church bullying, Weeks believes bullying is a learned behavior. “I believe that most bullies were bullied and/or abused in one way, shape, or form in their youth. Bullying is learned. We’re not born with the behavior. It’s an example of how bullies and abusers learned to execute authority.”
Weeks will announce the publication date of her book.