Online trolls fish for attention. They often make outlandish, sometimes controversial comments because they want to position themselves as in-the-know while dismissing and demeaning others. It’s a desperate attempt to feel important, and it stems from insecurity. When we look at online trolls, we see their behavior as ridiculous.
How we get over bully bosses
Does the description of online trolls sound familiar? Dismissive, demeaning, self-important, insecure. Sounds like your bully boss, doesn’t it?
So how do we use this comparison to get over bully bosses? While the answer is simple, the action is complex. Bully bosses use gaslighting to convince us we’re the problem — we’re sensitive or overreacting. But they’re only brainwashing us so they don’t have to take responsibility for their behavior. Once we slowly see the brainwashing as lies and the bully behavior as childish, we start to dig ourselves out of the misery. We slowly see we’re not the problem. It’s liberating. (This process also goes for gaslighting experienced in childhood by a parent or sibling that workplace bullying might trigger.)
In fact, Inc. Magazine reports that it’s humility that we should look for in managers and leaders. “When prolific consultant, author, and lecturer Jim Collins wrote about top leaders in his seminal book Good to Great, he said that they have mastered the paradoxical balance of personal humility and fierce resolve. Collins determined from his extensive research that these respected leaders direct their ego away from themselves to the larger goal of leading their company to greatness,” said Marcel Schwantes in “Want Your Employees to Respect You? Give Them the 1 Thing Most Bosses Never Do.”
You are above any nonsense. The more you see immature behavior as beneath you, just like online trolling, the easier it will be to heal.