We’ve encountered many people in this journey who don’t realize their personal power. We can spot them quickly because they see a problem or opportunity and instead of just doing, they say things like:
- “You should….”
- “This needs to be done….”
- “I don’t have time….”
- “I’m busy….”
We’re ALL busy, we all have the same amount of time in the day (it’s a matter of priority), and if we see an opportunity, it’s not someone else’s job to do it. It’s yours.
With these ideas in mind, here are tips to follow so we can all move forward together — with respect and dignity (since that’s what we ultimately aim to promote):
- Use the term “we,” not “you.” People like to use the term “you” when they don’t feel ownership. But changing the culture is everyone’s responsibility. We’re a team. Use the term “we” instead of “you” to show you want to move forward together and that you understand ending workplace bullying is as much your responsibility as anyone else’s.
- Pitch in. I’ve spent years blogging, posting, sign-holding, making connections, organizing meetings, building and updating a website, creating petitions, getting videos created, talking with reporters…. Yet some people ask me to do more. I always ask “can you do it?” That’s when the excuses begin. This movement can’t progress without everyone who’s healed pitching in. If you see a need, don’t ask for permission. Do what you think needs to be done (enlisting help if you need it, of course). It’s no one else’s job but yours (and no one owns this movement).
- If you don’t have a skill, go find it. We all have ideas we don’t have the skills to execute. But this movement is built on planting seeds and building our base. Have an idea? Go out and find someone who has the skills to execute it. Get them on our team.
- Educate yourself. Don’t know what we’re already doing but have an idea? It’s your responsibility to find out. Ask questions. Do your homework on our website and Facebook page. Understand what’s already happening and why before offering suggestions. It’s your responsibility. Never dictate with “you should.” A campaign to uphold dignity and respect gets built on dignity and respect.
- Make time. A lot of us have full-time jobs (including looking for a job, which is a full-time job), families, friends, groups we’re involved with, and plans. We are ALL stretched thin. Never use being busy as an excuse. What you’re really saying is “I have the same amount of time as you in the day, but it’s not a priority for me.” It’s not a fair approach. Granted some have more time than others, but most people have some time to do something (if you don’t, devote time to taking care of yourself or your other priorities instead of getting involved). Always offer what you’re doing rather than what others can do out of respect for them.
- Let go of the fear. Fear is likely at the root of holding you back. Some of it’s perfectly valid (like being in a job with a bully and not wanting to get retaliated against for working on this bill). But most fear is rooted in thinking you can’t do. We’re here to tell you you can. Your bully boss lied to you about what you’re capable of because he or she was intimidated by your competence. Don’t tolerate it, but take it as a compliment that you’re more than capable. Don’t believe the lies. Need proof? Start doing. Start taking action on this bill. You’ll see how fast your confidence comes back.
Let’s move forward together and build momentum that’s already rapidly increasing — with respect and dignity. You have that power.
Just as doctors without good bedside manners are more likely to get sued, so are employers. In his article “The Top 5 Reasons Why Employees Sue Their Boss,” Plaintiff Employment Lawyer Branigan Robertson reveals that mistreatment — not money — is the number one motivator for employees suing their employers. It’s mounting evidence that not caring about employees as human beings costs employers.
Here are the top five reasons why employees sue their employers according to Robertson:
1. They feel they were treated like garbage.
To have dignity, people need to believe they’re more than a disposable company resource. “Fired employees don’t call employment lawyers like me because the law was broken. Regular folks have no clue whether the law was broken. They call me because they feel dehumanized,” explains Robertson. “This is by far the No. 1 reason people get on Google and search for a lawyer. They are emotionally upset about how their boss treated, demoted, or fired them.”
Solution: Employers should treat their employees with respect if they want to avoid a lawsuit. Pretty simple.
2. They were fired after engaging in protected activity.
Robertson gets several calls a week that go something like this. Him – “Why did you get fired?” Employee – “They didn’t give me a reason, but I complained the week before about sexual harassment.” Robertson says that employment lawyers call this problem temporal proximity. In other words, “the time between the protected activity and adverse employment action are so close together that timing alone can be an inference of discrimination. This becomes an especially big red flag when the employee was never written-up or reprimanded before she complained.”
Solution: Employers should promptly write-up underperforming employees.
3. Their manager was allowed to behave badly.
How many rogue managers does it take to infect an otherwise good company? Just one. Sexual harassment, wrongful termination, failure to pay for overtime: pick your poison. “In my experience, nine times out of 10, these rogue managers have been on the company’s radar before and the company failed to adequately supervise, reprimand, or fire them,” says Robertson. Juries don’t like it when they hear a company knew about the rogue behavior but did nothing, he adds.
Solution: Employers should supervise and reprimand managers for inappropriate behavior.
4. Owner greed is out of control.
“When an owner of a company drives a Ferrari and simultaneously tells a valued employee that the company ‘can’t afford’ to give her a raise from $8 an hour to $8.15 an hour, she is going to call a lawyer if she gets fired,” explains Robertson.
Solution: Employers should stop over-indulging and hogging the money at the expense of giving their employees fair and livable wages. It’s called being a decent human being.
5. Rules aren’t fairly enforced.
“When one employee is allowed to break the rules because he’s friends with the HR guy or favored for another reason, but another is disciplined for breaking the same rules, the reprimanded person almost always thinks the law is being broken,” says Robertson.
Solution: Employers should enforce rules fairly.
“If companies simply treat their employees with respect, enforce the rules fairly, fire rogue managers, and use some common sense, people are far less likely to pick up the phone and call an employment lawyer like me,” explains Robertson. In a nutshell, Robertson’s asking employers to do their jobs and treat employees like human beings if they want to stay in business.
The world changed on November 9. Regardless of how you voted, we can likely all agree on a few takeaways from the election that will help us further anti-workplace bullying legislation:
- The ideas of dignity and respect now have the nation’s attention. The election put bullying in the national spotlight and made bullying tactics crystal clear — during the debates, in speeches, and on social media.
- So does narcissism. We saw what narcissism, the root of workplace bullying, looks like: lack of accountability, belittling, and lack of empathy. Yet empathy is vital in addressing differences and collaborating.
- People are ready to act now more than ever. Those against the election results realize they need to act to preserve social progress and demand the culture we fought to live in. A friend said “don’t give up. Never give up. Be kind to each other, look out for one another, for those struggling. Don’t tolerate hate in your community. Now more than ever. Become a more active supporter of causes important to you. Sign petitions, donate money, volunteer time, contact representatives. As Patti Smith said, people have the power.”
What we can do to keep the dignity and respect conversation going
- Use #empathyalwayswins in all of your election postings. Let people know you demand empathy, not narcissism, in our culture.
- Hold signs. No matter where you live, buy some posterboard and a marker and hold signs in your area against workplace bullying. People are paying attention to the dialogue right now.
- Demand that all conversations about the election be respectful and promoting dignity. Keep conversations focused on dignity and what happens without it.
- Call (more than email) your legislators about workplace bullying and other issues important to you. We have insight that legislators get inundated with emails. But they ignore a phone call.
We can pass anti-workplace bullying legislation. And we will.
No matter the experience, education, skill, personality, or contribution to an organization, every human should have basic rights. Every worker should have a right to feel:
- A sense of belonging. Workers should have a right to feel like we are included in an organization and part of a team.
- Valued. Workers should have a right to feel like our contributions have worth and importance.
- Respected. Workers should have a right to dignity and have our human needs and individual strengths and weaknesses honored.
- Healthy. Workers should have a right to feel strong. We should have a right to work in environments that promote well-being.
- Accomplished. Workers should have a right to information and resources necessary to do our jobs well so we can feel productive.
- Supported. Workers should have a right to feel heard and receive appropriate responses when we voice concerns.
- Fairly treated. Workers should have a right to reasonable expectations and similar standards for our colleagues.
- Empowered. Workers should have a right to have power and control over our work for confidence and strength.
- Part of a greater purpose. Workers should have a right to play a meaningful role in the reason our organizations exists.
So we keep going.
The time is now for healthy and productive employees.